Pranking the Prankster
by otahotian
Summary: 3rd in the Green Line. Follows after Spider Nest. "You think he fell for it?" "He had to fall for something, that's for sure." "Who knows.. but we will most definitely see.." ort story - Iruka, Izumo, Kotetsu, Genma after the chuunin exam, wherein Iruka is sad and his friends cheer him up.


**Beware: twisted logic, cursing, quoting, phylosophical thoughts. Twisted English. The Ides of March.**

* * *

><p>"What's up with Iruka?" there is a whisper from the darkness of small room, leaving the room terribly silent when no answer is spoken.<p>

Like when someone asks the question that can not be answered.

"Donno.." soon one other whisper joins the first one.

Maybe the question really can not be answered. There always exist questions like this – which cannot have an answer. And in that moment it actually _gets_ the answer, the question looses it's importance.

Like the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.

42 is such a nice number.

"He didn't even show up yesterday." the first whisper sounds again bringing back shallow echo of the sorrow which means living.

"Maybe he stayed long at work.." the second one sounds surprisingly comforting, trying to find some answer, which wouldn't bring pain – that obviously being the way how to make the question non-important. Because the question – still hanging in the air and making the lazy smell of night look like something ridiculous, something fake and oh so pointless – is sad and brings pain and is meant to.

"He always called when he wasn't able to come.."

The silence tastes like unshed tears, something what resembles the question 'how can everyone be happy while I cry?'. And the silver light of Luna can't even make the tears look like little diamonds. Because there is none, in the dark room.

If there were, it wouldn't really be possible to be a dark room there.

And that would ruin everything.

Not even talking about the fact, that Luna can't really shine at two pm.

"He didn't call the last time."

"No.. I guess he didn't."

"And neither the time before."

"So what?" the whisper is in that kind of voice what is used by desperate someone, who can see the truth, but just ignores it.

There are people who are really good at it. In this 'underneath the underneath'. Because what is under Truth? Probably Lie.

"Don't worry about him, Izumo. He is an adult." the second voice is no longer whispering. Maybe that's why he sounds so tired.

"Who is worrying?" the first voice is still mere whisper, it's just a coincidence that it sounds almost like a pout. He is answered with hesitant laugh.

It feels good to laugh again.

"What about we end the Dark Hour for now? We can go find Iruka and ask him what's wrong." the laugh is still there, in the deep voice which can so easily carry concern and soothe at the same time.

"Alright."

Something clicks and the darkness disappears, leaving there slightly yellow light.

What is the speed of dark?

The light is really talkative. Almost gossiping, really. It tells the two voices belongs to two men. It says one of them is sitting on a carton box full of something the light can't see, because it is hidden in the darkness. The second one is standing by wooden door, his long fingers touching the switch.

It's like: what _I_ know, _you _know. Just in this time it is: what _I _see, _you_ see. Unfortunately, the light can see lot of things. The light is not really ninja-like.

Darkness has sense for humor – you can't see yourself. What you can't see, doesn't exist – that's what a lot of people believe in. Therefore, you don't exist. And you will forever stay in dark.

"Do you think Hokage is still sleeping?" _I don't really want to be hit with a spoon. Not again._

And they say 'scary spoon' doesn't exist. They obviously haven't met Tsunade.

"Who knows?" the man offers hand to the other one, pulling him to his feet.

Maybe he was sitting there too long. Because his back and knees are crunching to the rhythm of Vivaldi.

"But I don't really want to go and see, do you, Kotetsu?" he is already back by the door, opening them and sneakily looking out, to see if they can leave without being seen by anyone, who would find it amusing to send them on another shift in mission room or anywhere else.

Thank you very much, they really _are_ used to do the 24s. But not twice. And not in a row. The third time would be... troublesome.

Fortunately, the corridor is empty.

"Let's find Iruka, ne?" smiles Izumo again, and it looks a lot less painful than just few minutes ago.

He is really getting better at faking smile.

He is getting better at lying, when he reassures himself, it will be alright.

He is really good at faking now, too. His cheerful smile doesn't look so fake.

Or maybe is just Kotetsu getting better at ignoring everything.

They leave side by side the room, shutting the door with silent "click".

* * *

><p>"But mum says I should take off my shoes before coming inside..." the child whines. And oh Kami-sama she is going to cry. She bites her lower lip and looks up to see her teacher – maybe hoping he would stop being so mean.<p>

Yea, she knows she hurt her feet and went crying to him, but he shouldn't have said it was her fault. She really didn't _want_ to step on the glass.

So he is just being mean.

It is logical.

As logical as the eight-years-old pre-ninja can be.

"Yes, of course, and your kaa-san is right – you should. Just not in school, okay?" her teacher says slowly and does his best not to bang his head in front of the kid.

"B-b-but.. mum says.." the kid doesn't look like it's going to give up on her mission – make the poor teacher loose his mind.

Because which kid wouldn't want to be able to say: "My teacher was send to a mental hospital."

"I know, Ki-chan. But you see, you are supposed to do so just at home." he tries again, feeling his patience slowly leave him.

Probably going to join the bells in Rome.

Or maybe the squirrels in the mental hospital.

Whichever is closer.

"But my mum says I have to do it always!" the girl is persistent. And crying.

Oh joys of being a teacher.

* * *

><p>"What do you think the weather will be tonight?" asks the scarred man no one in particular.<p>

Other one, sitting in front of him, looks up and the first of them raises his eyebrows, as if waiting for something.

"Stop-cant." is probably the thing he is waiting for.

"Darn it!" or maybe not.

"Genma! Why, why the flying fish didn't you say the darned 'cant'?" the scarred man looks more frustrated than angry.

"You were kinda obvious, Raido-kun." says happily the only woman by the table. The scarred one looks up to see her grinning like a mad shark.

If sharks can be mad.

And if mad sharks can grin.

"No shit, Sherlock!" Raido moans. He stands up and tries his hardest to calm himself, staring angrily on his co-player.

"Language, Raido." says Genma his first sentence in this conversation.

It has really interesting effect. They are all looking on him and silence is so ultimate, so definitive that it can be really called 'awkward' without it being an overstatement.

"What..what did you say..?" asks Raido hesitantly slowly blinking. He leans toward then, when his friend doesn't even look up from his cards, happily humming some ridiculous rhythm.

"I said: 'language, Raido'. Why? Are you going deaf or something?"

Raido blinks few more times, trying to decide if he was dreaming or not.

And thinking if he should be angry or amused by the kind of situation.

He would like to be someone else so he can say something funny, but he's just him, so he tries to decide.

And chooses neither of them.

Surprisingly.

Or not.

"Since when do you care about someone's language.." he asks but it sounds more like a whisper than actually question.

He slowly sits back down, making mess from the cards on the table with his hands.

One of the cards stays stuck on his elbow so he takes it off and throws it on their last player, who – aside from 'stop-cant' – hasn't said anything yet.

The card flies elegantly the way it was thrown and ends up – not so elegantly – penetrated by a sharp kunai in mid-air.

"Leaf ace. Nice choice, Raido." the last one studies the card with happy smile, which can't really be seen trough firm fabric of his mask.

"I just do." is Genma's happy answer followed by Raido's growl of frustration and Anko's laugh.

And the night is slowly coming, in all her sentimental beauty which is deadly for every shinobi, because it is emotional and sentimental and kind of peaceful and so meaningful and no ninja can understand it's meanings, because if he could, he would as well be able to train being samurai.

And samurai is not a ninja, because samurais are emotional, gentle, kind, romantic and sentimental – and that way they can enjoy the night.

And every ninja will just laugh to their faces before laying them down to the romance of their own blood and kiss their neck lovingly with his knife.

So why does the night feel like Home?

* * *

><p>Dark haired man looks up to see the dark, dark sky – and with every star, shining there like a ocean of hope, is it darker and darker almost blinding his eyes.<p>

He takes a deep breath, the air is fresh and cold and somehow it helps him silence his thirst so he takes another one and smiles tiny smile.

He kind of likes night. Not in the way he would walk around the village in the darkness and sneak from shadow to shadow in a narrow street.

No. Not like that – if he did, there would be just a small step from that to murdering innocent virgins and laughing like a madman.

However, not much innocent virgins would really wander trough some dark narrow isle, right?

Every lady going through place like this would be probably even more dangerous than him.

He looks around, because he feels as if someone is watching him.

The only one watching him is obviously his shadow, so he frowns on it.

His shadow doesn't pay attention to it, following him as if it hasn't been caught.

"I am getting old.." sighs the man and it's true.

Because a lot of people gets old in young age.

He will probably die from oldness. So young.

He steps up the stairs in the part of Konoha where is always so silent and everyone knows everything about everyone, because nothing is happening there all the time.

_These people are so ignorant.._ he thinks to himself when he sees some lady looking from the window and watching his every step. _They would probably be happy if I took lovers home with myself, or came back covered in blood or drunk or something like that, so they would have something to gossip about._

He takes his keys from pocket of his standard pants and unlocks the door with small picture of a dolphin, instead of a name tag. The idea came from Izumo, who found really funny the old hag from next-doors – he practically fell in love with her bickering about how the name tag of 'Umino s.' was not enough.

She was really persistent. She didn't even hesitate to ring his door at five a.m. to yell at him about it. Naturally, she did it just to be able to see his flat, if he wasn't fast enough to close the door before she came in. And she was absolutely horrified, when she realized, that his flat was absent of everything personal – he didn't really _live_ there. He comes just to sleep, eat and shower.

Once he told about it his friends, and Izumo – without his knowing, it was surprise – made a small tag of a purple dolphin and nailed it to his door.

Next night the hag didn't even let him sleep – yelling about irresponsible good-for-nothing jerk who couldn't even act like a gentleman towards _lady._

Although he didn't get where was some lady, because she most definitely was not.

He still doesn't know if it was about _him_, or about _Izumo_, or about the hag's husband – if she had one. Maybe she said it once, or twice, or more times, but he wasn't listening – he decided, if he can't sleep, he will just grade the tests.

After that he realized, that if the hag wakes him, he will be able to do more work, so he let the dolphin stay where it was.

* * *

><p>"Checkmate." the cheeky grin – even as fake as this – is much more louder than the voice.<p>

"Alright, you won." Izumo says and wonders, if it is some official Fake Smile Day or something, because it is really getting old.

"What are we going to do with Iruka?" he asks, before Kotetsu can add some really annoying fact about him not paying attention to the game.

"I don't really want to know what do you want to do with him."

Izumo gives him bored glare, which is much more true than the smile he was trying to keep the whole day. Joys of the official Fake Smile Day.

"We can't just let him drown in his apathy." Izumo says and it sounds as if he is trying to argue. Well, maybe he is. It would help him nicely filter his frustration.

"He won't drown – dolphins can breath under water."

"Are you an idiot?"

_I probably am._ Kotetsu doesn't say it out loud, what would he say anyway? _'Maa, sorry, I am just a coward who can't take having the responsibility or having to talk about _feelings,_ and it's because I am about as sensitive as the senbon Shiranui chews on. So I just joke._' _Yeah, that will really help._

"Look, Izumo. We don't know what get him so stressed up. We don't know what is the reason he is suddenly feeling the need to turn himself into emo-rabbit." he says instead. Even _he_ with his natural anti-feelings shield can sense the defensiveness of that statement.

So he puts on another fake smile to cover it.

"You wanted to say, that _you_ didn't know it. Because I _do_." the glare Izumo is sending his friend is so sharp he can almost see the check pieces wanting to move away from the trajectory of it.

The lucky white king is already laying, or else he would be on the edge of fainting.

Kotetsu moves back in his chair hoping to weaken the glare a bit, so his hair wouldn't so embarrassingly stand up at the back of his neck.

Darn it – he is a shinobi!

"You do?" he asks when he realizes, that his trying is futile.

Izumo sighs and runs his long fingers trough his hair. "Yeah. Yeah, I do." he whispers and the sensation of something sad, something futile is back with a revenge.

What didn't kill you, will try to kill you again.

* * *

><p>"Why.. why does it have to be like this?" the tall man asks his own reflection in a mirror, but it stays silent, just looking at him with sad and frustrated eyes and the sadness and hurt and anger are dancing in the brown pools, so it looks like it is <em>him<em> who is so depressed and angry.

It's stupid, really. Because he most definitely is _not._ Why should he? Why should he be angry that someone else is acting all distanced and depressed? It has nothing to do with him.

So he just frowns on his reflection chastening it for it's stupid, stupid anger.

The reflection frowns on him back clearly stating the fact, that it is _him, _who it is angry with, because he wasn't able to do _anything._

The man watches his reflection with hate, because he is not going to let it judge him, it is just some stupid, pointless reflection, and he is a _ninja._ And he is a _tokubetsu jounin_, so he won't have anything like that.

The reflection seems to hate him with the same amount of passion as he does, so he decides to kill it and breaks the glass with his needle, just in time before the reflection's needle hits the glass from the other side and kills him.

_Ha. Take that, you fake one. I was faster._

* * *

><p>Iruka sits down on his chair, slowly massaging his scalp to make some of the pain in his head go away. It doesn't help, it still feels like if someone is inside hitting him with tiny hammer.<p>

He gives up with a sigh and takes a notebook from his table slowly going trough some of the pictures he draw when he was younger.

He doesn't even know what made him find the notebook again, after about 7 years, but he did two days ago. He looks on the pictures of Izumo and Kotetsu, drawn with just a pencil. They are smiling on it.

He can still remember when that happened – it was the day before Christmas and they were just fooling around. There wasn't anything weird on that, no reason for him to mesmerize that moment, but he just did, because after that, about three hours ago, Kotetsu asked him if he wanted to spend the holidays with him, and he said yes.

That was his first Christmas not spend alone and he draw this to remember it.

He looks on other few pictures – mostly Kotetsu, Izumo and sometimes Ibiki. He wanted to draw Anko there, too, but he failed in drawing her – he wasn't able to draw girls.

On some pages there were just things, like kunai – dirty with blood, or his hitai-ate with sharp cut on it, made by some missing nin, who almost killed him back than.

Sometimes he would write short poem there, just to kill some stress or to prove some his point, and his shorter, funnier ones he would read to his team-mates and they would laugh.

He turned to another page seeing bloody red letters there. He frowns and softly touches the page with his fingers. It still feels wet, as if he wrote it just few minutes ago.

He has never read this one to anyone.

And he never will.

He wrote it after they returned from a mission, which went wrong.

Kotetsu was unconscious and Izumo was dying.

And he – little one who was halfway dragging, halfway carrying tiny Izumo – couldn't even cry, because he didn't have any more tears to shed.

He can still – after 9 years – fell the burned skin which was Izumo's body. He got caught in an explosion.

And he returned and even Ibiki was looking desperate when trying to soothe him, so he just sent him away and closed himself in his bedroom, not wanting to talk to anyone.

He wanted to die.

So he stayed there for three days without food until he fainted and when he woke up, he was in the hospital, in the same room with Zumo, who was awake and angry on him for starving himself to death.

He yelled on him and threw his pillow on him, and then asked him to hand it back to him, because he is tired and wants to sleep, and Iruka just obeyed and sneaked next to him and they ended up hugging each other, while they cried.

After he returned home, he found the notebook and read the poem he wrote and didn't even remember doing so.

Same way as before he lets the words slip from his mouth and the pictures it takes back are too sharp.

_There is a fire._

_ Small drops of tears are slowly falling down on the dying earth._

_ And then there is a fire._

_ Someone screams, child cries._

_ And still, there is a fire._

_ Young couples are exchanging their forever's, like there is no tomorrow, maybe because there is no._

_ There is only fire._

_ And the humanity is slowly dying, finally leaving our Mother be free._

_ All thanks to the fire._

_ The fire of betrayal and lie._

He feels as if he didn't write it about Izumo, but about the Kyuubi incident.

But it doesn't really matter, because it all ended with death.

With Kyuubi, it were people – and his parents – who died, with Izumo it was his inner child.

More death. More and more and it isn't even ending, because now, he can see it, there is more of it. More death. More blood. More betrayal.

He lets his head fall down to his palms and cries because he feels so alone now.

* * *

><p>"So? Enlighten me, genius, <em>why<em> does he have to be so depressed?" Kotetsu says and frowns, because he doesn't really believe that Izumo knows anything.

If he knew, why haven't he done anything yet?

Izumo sighs. "It's because Sandaime-sama died. And Hayate-san, too. And Sasuke-kun left and Naruto too."

"Sandaime-sama?" Kotetsu asked. He knew that Sandaime was something like a heart of the village and lot of people miss him, but Iruka is the one who was trying to soothe everyone during the funeral.

"Did you forget, dumbass?" Izumo asks softly because he doesn't feel like saying all the cliché things about Sandaime being his only family.

Kotetsu frowns but he probably didn't, because something like a realization dawns on him and it shows in his eyes.

Or maybe it's just a game of light.

"And Hayate? They didn't really know each other well.." he mumbles again.

"Maybe not, but Hayate asked him for the revenge on Anko – he trusted Iruka and Iruka is someone who would treasure everyone's trust. And before you ask about Sasuke-kun or Naruto, think about it, they were his students, after all."

"So? It's not like they are death."

"Not really. But they are away, and without them he feels lonely." says Izumo hesitantly and after he says it, he suddenly knows that it's true.

"But he has us!" Kotetsu says heatedly and stands up. Izumo stands too, to match his height and put his hands on his friends' shoulder.

"He doesn't know that." he says emphatically and looks straight into Kotetsu's eyes, so he would be able to understand.

"Is that so.." Kotetsu says and looks determinate suddenly which is making Izumo feel sure and save. "Than we will just show him." he grins suddenly and in his eyes are now visible the shines of humor, evilness and excitement which are the patented look of Iruka while planning some prank.

Izumo smiles softly because he suddenly feels like there is still some way out of the darkness consuming his hearth.

Oh Iruka, you just wait.

* * *

><p>That's the basic reason why Iruka wakes himself up noticing all his windows are painted green, so the light coming to his bedroom trough them is making the room look like some underwater-kingdom.<p>

The first think he feels is the sensation of drowning. The next think he notices are small papers glued to the now-green walls which has the shape of little dolphins, each with small face and some funny expression. They look like a drawings his class would draw.

Next think he realizes is, that the whole impression of his room is kind of nice and he would gladly let it be that way, not being it his _bedroom._ Because waking up every morning panicked because of the 'drowning' wouldn't really raise his mood.

All in all, that is the reason why he is actually smiling tiny smile while making himself morning coffee, instead of the usual 'I wanna lay down and die' attitude.

Other surprise awaits him when he wants to take a spoon from the drawer and all the knives, spoons and forks fall down on the floor.

"What the..!" he breathes out and jumps back to avoid getting his feet pierced with the sharp tools. His eyes take on the situation; the drawer was turned upside down.

"Very funny.." he mumbles looking down on the disaster. "You really outdid yourselves, Izumo, Kotetsu.." he says because those two are the only ones who could possibly enter his apartment and prepare the 'morning catastrophe' without him waking up.

And he has a feeling it isn't over yet.

So he takes a spoon from the floor and takes his cup filled with sugar, too. And because he knows his friends he samples the white crystals to make sure it's not salt before adding it to his coffee.

Surprisingly it's a sugar. That fact makes Iruka frown – it sure is not untouched because _they_ wouldn't think about it.

There _has_ to be a reason. A plan. And he would most probably fall for it.

Darn it.

He is _so_ not gonna let his guard down.

* * *

><p>That's probably why after twenty minutes he leaves his bathroom fresh after a shower, ready for next day and with his hair purple.<p>

He _did_ check his shampoo for a hair-dye, but he didn't check the towel he uses for his hair for anything color or chakra related.

And the color didn't want to get down.

At least it is _dark_ purple, maybe no one will even notice.

…

Not really possible in a ninja village.

"Well... at least it's not _pink_." he sighs and heads back to his kitchen with a towel around his waist.

He takes another sip of his coffee and feels a small smile get on his face.

He never thought that his two friends would actually prank _him_.

Purple hair.

The most classical one and he fell for it.

He feels like laughing or crying. Or both – at the same time.

Iruka absently reaches for a butter, salt and a bread and starts to prepare himself his breakfast.

_Let's count – that was my bedroom, then it was the drawer and after that the missing handle inside of the bathroom. _That was one he actually noticed so didn't close the door. _Then the color on the towel._

He frowns – it's still not much, they wouldn't do just this little.

Iruka sighs realizing he doesn't have any other choice, but live trough the day and _try_ to avoid as much catastrophe as he can, and bites to his bread with butter.

"Damn that!" he spits the pieces of bread with disgusted look on his face. "Bleh." he says again and gives the caster dead glare.

Well, obviously his friends didn't switch his sugar with salt for him to drink salty coffee. No, they switched his salt with sugar to make his breakfast _sweet_.

Iruka sighs again cleaning the mess he made and making himself another slice.

Without salt. Or more like 'without sugar'.

He can feel that this is going to be a long – but still kind of interesting – day.

* * *

><p>"You think he fell for it?" Izumo asks hesitantly – he and his friend are standing in front of the Hokage building waiting for the Academy teacher to pass by.<p>

"For what exactly?" Kotetsu asks back with smile. "He had to fall for _something_, that's for sure."

Izumo nods and gets back to watching the random people walking around. Some of them he recognizes, some of them he doesn't – shinobis, villagers, wanderers, businessmen.

"It's already past three quarters to eight.. He's late." says Izumo worriedly and started stretching his arms.

"Well.. I guess he just chose another way.." Kotetsu grins. "That means he has fallen for the dye."

"Which one?" is Izumo's reply.

"Who knows.. but _we_ will most definitely see.. Don't forget we have a shift with him this afternoon."

Izumo smiles for the reply and turns around to get inside, before it starts raining.

* * *

><p>It's really surprising how fast can the time go, when you are dreading the afternoon. And how many people do you meet, when you don't want to meet anyone.<p>

Maybe because your so-called friends dyed your hair purple.

At least the children enjoyed the fact.

They were more than happy not-so-secretly making Iruka their new hero.

Iruka sighs and looks out from the window of his classroom. His children are now taking a quick-test in which they can see what is their element. It's based mostly on the character – if you are an sanguine, you will probably get fire.

Few minutes ago, children finally stopped giggling every time they saw their sensei, so the class is actually quiet.

"Who ever is finished can go home, after giving me the test." Iruka says cheerily and gets few smiles in return mostly from the children in the first raw. He will give them the tests back the next day.

If he will manage to go trough them.

Which is probably not happening, he wouldn't be surprised if Izumo and Kotetsu have something else up their sleeves.

Other than arms.

The teacher sighs and looks around noticing that his little hellions are acting like little children for once. He stretches his legs and listen to the cracking of his joints with twisted pleasure.

No, he is not masochist, it's just kind of funny – the sound.

Cracking his own joints-y melody.

Iruka chuckles silently to himself.

"Iruka-sensei, Iruka-sensei!" the little girl in second raw raises her hand and Iruka hopes with all he has that she is not going to ask him what do all those weird black pictures mean.

"What is it, Ori-chan?" he asks patiently and waits for some scary question to sound.

"I am finished, Iruka-sensei." she says proudly and Iruka sighs in relief.

At least he thinks that's what she said.

He is never really sure around some kids, so he just nods and smiles on them, hoping the little one really said _'I had lunch with papa yesterday' _and not _'I killed my mum with a paper-shuriken'_.

Sometimes, to hope, is the only thing he can do.

And he is grateful.

"Oh, is that so? You can give me the paper now and go home for today, how does it sound?" he asks kindly and waits for the little girl to come closer, so he wouldn't have to stand up.

Not like he is lazy or something.

He just felt like taking of his sandals and haven't put them on, yet.

"Heeeere." the kid sings cheerfully, dropping the paper on his desk.

"Have a save way home, Ori-chan." Iruka says and waves on the leaving girl.

"Anybody else is finished?" he asks turning back towards his class.

Almost everyone is.

Iruka smiles, although it is little bit scary, how his kids can be fast, when they have free afternoon promised.

Not like he wouldn't be.

Oh – he wouldn't.

He likes his work.

Iruka was watching the crow of chatting children leave chaotically, when he spots two unfamiliar boys heading towards the door.

"You two there." he says, pointing to them. "Stay here for a moment." he orders and narrows his eyes. The taller from the duo says something and Iruka thinks it looked as if he was saying _'shit'_.

And Iruka still doesn't recognize any of them.

Such an innocent youth.

He looks on them with stern expression – taller one is black-haired, his hair sticking to all ways, he has cat-shaped black eyes and three pale spots on his face, which aren't as tanned as the rest – chin, and cheeks. He is short – but looks like he could outrun some of the chuunin Iruka knows, beaming on his legs and looking stunningly elegant while unmoving.

He is slightly familiar, but he is most definitely _not _Iruka's pupil.

Partly behind him is hiding the second one, he is even shorter and has light brown hair and innocent hazel eyes. The boy is playing with his fingers looking as if this is the last place he would want to be on.

"Who are you two – you aren't my pupils." he says his voice mere whisper.

The boys exchange a look of fear, obviously trying to find some way out of trouble and Iruka realizes that other than one kid and the three of them, they are alone. And the kid, standing close to the door and looking worriedly towards the two caught, is what gets Iruka's attention.

He motions to the kid to join them and the boy obeys. He stands next to first raw of desk, close to the door and on the other Iruka's side than those other two.

Not like Iruka cares.

The last kid is shorter than the others and wearing a scarf over his brown hair is making him kinda suspicious. Iruka can even see something metallic the kid is trying to hide in his sleeve.

_Oh really.. you are so .. stealthy. _Iruka rolls his eyes.

"So? I am waiting – what are your names?" he asks, even though he already knows the answer.

Maybe they will surprise him.

Not really.

"Um.. Eeto.. Eh.." The shy one starts stuttering and Iruka wonders how long will the others let him embarrass himself. "Eh.."

"Am Tetsugo and he's Izuraya." says the tallest one quickly before poking his shy friend.

His friend almost falls over, oh well, nothing is better than a friendly poke.

Maybe friendly puke.

Or maybe not.

Iruka immediately notices the children' discomfort and mentally grins.

_I can as well have some fun.._

"And you would be..?" he asks the third one when the child doesn't look like responding.

"I am... Well.. My name is .. ee.. Kuragen." he says and smiles smugly, obviously satisfied with himself.

Who wouldn't be? After all, he managed to say his name.

After all, he managed to say _a_ name.

"Alright. Well, you three aren't my _pupils._" Iruka says crossing his arms on his chest and feigning anger. "So what are you doing here?"

_Other than watching me as some sort of failed experiment. _he adds to himself and glares to the so-called _Kuragen. _The kid briskly looks away and on his cheeks appears hint of redness.

_Blushing. _Iruka realizes and feels the need to laugh, again, because it's all so ridiculous.

They say kids are cute and funny. They tend to have a .. _laughing _effect on you.

When they are not yours, that's it.

"We are a transported genin from ..e.. the other class, here." Kuragen says with feigned bravery.

"Oh, really? I never knew we have any other class here.." Iruka says and does everything to look thoughtful. Oh, how he enjoys torturing his friends.

_Did they really think I wouldn't recognize foreign kids in my _own_ class? And what about those _names?_ Really, not creative at all. Tetsugo. Tetsu. Kotetsu. Got'cha._

He proclaims himself the Dolphin-fishman.

Because he just caught himself nice, fiery, black-haired human-fish.

And he plans on enjoying it.

His sight slowly shifts to the shy kid. _Izuraya. Izu. Izumo. What's with the 'aya' I will never know._

It is strange, thought, seeing his friend's eye after so long. The face still smooth, without the scars and burns.

_"I don't want to die.." the burned hand grips his hair in painful grip, but he is grateful, he wants to feel his friend alive._

_ "You will not, rabbit. You will not." he says more to himself as he watches his own shaky hands embracing the small feverish body._

_ "..I .. trust you.." the small one says and looks up with a genuine smile on his black lips, his eyes unseeing and light blue, almost white instead of the usual innocent brown._

Iruka shakes his head – not the time, neither the place.

"So, who is your professor? I have to tell him how you three exceeded here." he smiles lightly, teasingly. The free of them look at each other confused.

Why is it sometimes so easy to take a critique, but when someone is giving you a praise, you want to stop him? Even more, when it's not really genuine.

Cheers for sarcasm.

"After all, you all managed the henge quite nice." he smiles again and looks towards the last 'kid' he hasn't inspected yet.

_Kuragen. Yea, the Gen is same, still.. Kurage.. Jellyfish.. _He looks the kid up and down and silently laughs. The tokubetsu jounin looks .. cute – for the lack of another words. Great blackmail material, he will have to draw him when he returns to his apartment.

"H-h-henge?" asks Ko-_Tetusgo _nervously, scratching his missing face-bandages. "We don't know what you are talking about.. sensei." he says trying to look genuine but failing. His posture is tense, he plays with his pocket and touches his mouth. That all – mostly the last one – screams _lie _so laud, it would even drown Gai's Youthful speech.

"Oh, is that so?" Iruka looks at him looking pleasant. "Than you won't mind if I do this, right?" he asks and links his hand together.

He spots two matching looks of horror on the kids' faces before he releases the henge, muttering silent kai. With a 'pop' there are two adults standing in front of him looking embarrassed and third one behind him, looking utterly lost.

"How did you do _that?_" very adult voice of one Shiranui Genma asks from behind him.

"Show – off." proclaims Izumo in front of him and pats Iruka's hair, before laughing happily.

Iruka soon joins his two friends and can hear the hesitant chuckle of tokubetsu jouin from behind.

It's nice to laugh again. He is, after all, between friends, and he feels like nothing can spoil his mood.

"By the way, nice hair, Iruka-_sensei._"

Or not.

* * *

><p>"So... now when we sorted all the I-wanna-die-thing, you think we can continue on with the pranking?" Izumo asks happily, leaning against his older friend's legs.<p>

Iruka laughs looking down on his friend and tries to shift, because he is effectively trapped between Kotetsu and Izumo and he doesn't like it, thank you very much.

While they keep him safe and warm, which is kind of nice, he doesn't really want to be seen sitting at a tea-shop like this – sitting on a pillow while Izumo is resting in front of him, leaning his full weigh on him, while Kotetsu tries and immobilizes him by tightly holding him with his arms.

They look like a slightly dysfunctional family on their grandma's funeral.

And Iruka is the grandma.

"Now?" Iruka asks and raises his eyebrows.

"Nah.. tomorrow.." Kotetsu yawns and happily pokes Iruka under ribs.

They have to sleep, after all.

* * *

><p><strong>I kinda started to like writting these catastrophes. (:<strong>

**anyway - hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writting it and sorry for mistakes - I was thinking about asking someone to B-read it for me, but.. 1. I dont know anyone who would do so, and 2. this is helping me get better in English. (:**

**aaaand.. I tried another style of writting (got inspired by a book i read - Asphalt/Kopřiva, Štěpán) **

**last thing - leave me a review, it will not hurt you and i will know what i did wrong.**

**Me.**

**(listening to: Kings of Leon - Closer, Good Charlotte, Creature Feature, Thousand Foot Krutch, DNA - Kick me up)  
><strong>


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